singles-awareness

On Friday, before the hour of 10:00am, I had already been asked twice why I was unmarried and childless.

First it was a woman I was talking with about my plans to move back to the States... she asked if I was moving back to get married. After answering "no," she proceeded to tell me that she had a daughter my age who just got married and that for her boys it was fine for them to wait, but for girls... well... and then she kind of trailed off and gave me a knowing glance.

Then I went for a business meeting with a man who worked at a government office downtown. While we were waiting for his secretary to print off some papers, he asks me if I'm married. After hearing my negative response, he says- what about children? I say that I'm waiting until I'm married to have children, and then he gives me a glance over and tells me that its best to have children while I'm still young. {Just to reemphasize, this was a professional meeting.} I'm pretty sure in the US that would qualify as sexual harassment, while in Uganda its just a conversation starter.

Now don't get me wrong, I want to get married and have children. I'm all for it. But it seems that in Uganda its all that's expected of women. And that somehow I'm not a "woman" because I'm single and childless.... And professionally, I'm not taken seriously.

There are plenty of women's issues that I could talk about that go on in Uganda.... like how its not uncommon for husbands to beat their wives, or how the girl is often the one shamed when an unwanted pregnancy occurs out of wedlock, or how a widow's property can be confiscated after her husband dies... I could go off on a tangent about any of those issues. But its the constant conversations like the ones I had on Friday that are examples of the small way that I'm personally most effected by the male dominated culture here.

It makes me thankful in a way I've never been before for the way that women are treated in the US. I know its not perfect, but we have rights and opportunities and fewer prejudices to overcome than women living in Uganda.

Even on the streets in America, I feel infinitely more respected. You might get a whistle from a passing car once in a blue moon, but most places I've traveled outside the US the catcalling is so much more abrasive. In Italy I didn't mind it so much, because "Ciao bella!" feels more like a compliment... In Spain it was "Eeehhhh guapa!" in a guttural growling sort of voice- not my favorite. But I think the common Ugandan catcall "Just my size!" takes the cake for most objectifying. Its things like this that make me grateful for things I didn't even recognize about daily life in the States. Maybe there are deeper rooted women's issues that we still need to work out in the US, but at least I can walk down the street in peace.

All that to say, even though my patience for these singles-awareness encounters often runs out, I am thankful for the opportunity to show them something different.... To be a young woman who moved to a foreign country alone, to work for a company she was passionate about. I'm not naive enough to think that I'm going to play much of a part in changing stereotypes or cultural norms in Uganda, but I do hope that more and more young women here can be taken seriously and feel valued in society.

CLA at last

I've lived in Uganda for over a year now, and until yesterday I had never visited Cornerstone Leadership Academy. This has been a significant missing piece in my Uganda experience, because CLA is the school that Sseko partners with and where most of the ladies I work with come from.

The school is about thirty minutes outside the city, and even though I've driven by the entrance sign on my way to Gulu, I'd never stepped foot on the grounds. So when our photo and video interns were heading out to the campus to get some shots of the girls, I made sure I was along for the ride.

I had the opportunity to interview a few of the girls, and it was incredible to see how hopeful they were about their futures... Most of them said that they wouldn't have been able to finish high school without the full-ride that CLA provides, which means that they never would have had a shot at attending university. But now its part of all their plans. We asked each of the girls what they wanted to be when they grew up and got quite the variety of answers. From professor, to accountant, to lawyer, to doctor... these girls have high hopes.

Then I asked a few of them how they thought they would fund their university level educations... and most were hoping for the government sponsored scholarships, which unfortunately are few and far between... Having these conversations with the girls at CLA was such a good reminder for me of why Sseko exists. It's easy to get caught up in the day to day grind, but having these beautiful, hopefully girls in front of me.... it was such a refresher.

And as happy as that experience was, I left feeling a little twinge of sadness... because I knew that I wouldn't get to work with those girls firsthand. Some of the girls I talked to yesterday will be hired to work with Sseko next year, but by then I'll be back in America... But I had to remind myself that this would always be the case.... there will always be a fresh group of bright-eyed CLA graduates recruited for Sseko each year, and that's the beauty of it. I've been blessed enough to know two generations of Sseko women, and even though I'll be watching from afar, I can't wait to see who the new faces of Sseko are! The fact that they are probably in this picture gives me serious goosebumps... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

baby whack

There is a little boy who lives in our neighborhood that Julie and I have fondly dubbed "Baby Whack." Why do we refer to him by this strange nickname, you may ask? Well, it has something to do with the fact that he is probably only one and a half years old, and he carries around a small machete. His parents have a produce stand on our street, and its common to see Baby Whack, knife in hand, sitting on the ground next to it chopping away at something, keeping himself entertained.

Can you imagine how mortified an American parent would be to see their child sitting on the side of a ditch on a dirty road playing with a rusty machete? But the funny thing is that Baby Whack has probably never cut himself with that old knife... In fact, his little hands are quite capable. Because he's probably been playing with that knife for awhile now. He's seen his parents cutting the pineapples and potatoes that they sell, and he's just imitating them.

American children do the same thing. Julie was telling me that one of her friends recently told her a story about her two year old daughter. The little girl picked up her mom's iPod and started making a small, circular motion with her thumb. While Baby Whack is learning how to chop things, this baby girl is learning how to select a song on an iPod. Amazing.

All children learn different motor skills early on, and its been so fascinating to see how the culture you grow up in dramatically effects that. I'll give another example.... One of our new summer interns, Meagan, has been living at the workshop with our two Ugandan managers, Emma and Agnes. Meagan decided that she wanted to learn how to hand-wash her clothes, since washing machines are virtually non-existent here. {side note: I tried to wash my own clothes by hand for the first three months I was here, but caved and now have a woman come once a week to wash for me... I got tired of being dirty all the time and having stained clothes} Anyway, Meagan was an eager pupil, and Agnes went out to observe the lesson.

The next week at work, Agi was telling me all about the lesson and cracking up. She said "my little sister is better at washing clothes than Meagan, and she's only 6!" She thought it was hilarious that Meagan didn't know how to do a chore that in Uganda is so common and simple. This lead to an interesting conversation with Agi.... I told her that I didn't know how to wash clothes by hand either... And bet you would have a hard time finding any American (child or adult) who knows how to wash clothes like that. Maybe they can work the washing machine, but the idea of washing by hand is pretty foreign to Americans.

So I told Agnes that we learn other skills early.... like skills with electronics. Most kids in elementary school know how to work Tivo (better than their parents in some cases!) and can pre-set the TV to make sure they catch their favorite shows. And I had learned how to type and use a computer by the time I was in late elementary school.... And I'm sure that kids these days are learning even earlier. But what about in Uganda? We've been giving the Sseko ladies typing lessons and trying to teach them basic computer skills, because most of them have never had access to computers before... So what if I flipped the situation on Anges, and while watching her type said something like "Any American kid could use a computer better than you!" First of all, I would never say that because I think its rude even though it may be true, but also I understand that we just learned different skills and were exposed to different things as children.

What started out as a funny conversation about Meagan's inability to washing clothes turned into a fascinating conversation between Agnes and I about cultural differences and experiences. The conclusion we came to was that being understanding and graceful in situations like that is always best... because you never know why someone doesn't know how to do something.... whether its an adult's inability to perform "children's" chores, or a baby's impressive skills with wielding a knife.

a boss.... me?

I had never been anyone's boss before I started working for Sseko. And I've come to realize that being a boss is not easy... but not in a bad way. Managing the Sseko ladies has been both challenging and extremely rewarding.

This past week we started doing employee reviews with the women... it was the first time we had tried anything like this and it was a really great experience. It gave us the opportunity to tell them areas they needed improvement, but also to praise areas of excellence. And let me tell you, we have some praise-worthy employees! Over the past 6 months, and especially in the last weeks since we moved to the new workshop, we have seen them really step up their game: busting out record-breaking production numbers, catching quality issues early, working overtime to make sure goals are met... They really are awesome and such a pleasure to work with.

It's funny though to reflect back where we were a year ago with some of these same women... And where I was as a manager... And I think those reflections are really revealing. It's not like there has been some massive transformation or dramatic change because things were a wreck a year ago. No, no.... nothing like that. The Sseko team in Uganda was great last year, but this year things are just so much better. And I really think a lot of that is due to the attitude change Julie and I have had as managers... Last year we tended to think "Well, we've never done this before... so .... I guess we'll do it this way." But this year we have been operating with much more intention and confidence..... and vision.

As a management team we read a book called Switch (I highly recommend it!), that really had a big impact on us and the way we viewed our position as managers. The book is about creating change, when change is hard. It gives some really simple steps to follow that make so much sense when you think about them and put them into practice. Things like "smoothing the path"... for us, that meant if we wanted our employees to follow the rules we set, we had to make it easy for them to do their jobs well and follow the rules we put into place.

I think we saw the effects of this most strongly with our newest class of girls from Cornerstone Leadership Academy. The first step to smoothing a path is making a path. That means providing some kind of structure. And let me just say that nothing makes me feel more like I can relate to how it must feel to be a parent than when I think about creating structure.... With kids and with employees I think it's the same principle: they can be smothered by too much structure, but might walk all over you if you don't give enough. But, I've seen firsthand, that when you give them just the right amount, structure is freeing and they really thrive in it. This year when we had orientation for the CLA girls, we handed them a Human Resources manual, we had training stations sets, we had protocol, we had expectations, we were organized and professional. How have they responded to what we presented them with? They respect it. They take us seriously. They take their jobs seriously, and take pride in their work. It's amazing.

When Julie and I sat down to discuss the reviews for the CLA girls, for each one we couldn't think of any instances of behavioral issues or rule-breaking.... For each girl we said: "She works really hard and is a great addition to the team." And that is partially due to the fact that they are awesome girls, but also I think part of it is because we set them up to be awesome employees. And when you get to do employee reviews like that, it makes being "the boss" so much fun.... because I get to sit across from each of them and say "job well done!"

I still have SO much to learn about being a manager, but I am incredibly thankful for what the past year of being a first-time "boss" has taught me.... and that I still have time with the Sseko ladies to keep learning from my experiences with them... so, so thankful.