one month

At our staff meeting on Monday, I announced to the Sseko-ladies that I'm moving back to the US. I thought that I could stand up there, totally casually, and just you know, relay the information. Keep it cool. Keep it classy. But I totally started crying. I was standing up there, looking into their beautiful faces, and got that cracking, high pitched, crying-girl voice as I told them that I loved them and have loved my past year-plus of working along side them at Sseko. But then I pulled it together enough to use my normal voice and apologize for getting emotional a month early... and then we all laughed over my teary eyes and moved on with the weekly announcements.

But telling the girls made it real... that in less than a month I'll be moving back to the US. I'll be in Austin, looking for a new job, learning a new place, and making new friends. This is going to be a big transition. And I've been feeling all over the map about it. The feelings of excitement are mingled in with feelings of sadness.

I'm not going to write a "reflections" blog just yet, because I still have time here. I don't want to start a count down or anything like that, because I want to be present where I am. And making that hard announcement to the Sseko ladies made me want that even more... Not to check out. To stay engaged in my work and my relationships here until I board the plan... To really soak up my last month in Uganda.

A month can be full of so many things, and I am so looking forward to exploring this one.

you are what you eat

There have been a lot of changes in my life since moving to Uganda... but one change I don't think I've ever mentioned is my diet. What I cook and what I eat have changed pretty dramatically since moving to Kampala... And there are various factors that have forced this change upon me. One being that there significantly less pre-made food options at the grocery stores. And by "significantly less," I mean almost none at all. No frozen dinners, soup cans, or cookie dough in a tub. So, that means making everything from scratch. And then another significant factor is the lack of an oven. For the past year, I've done all my cooking on the stove-top. So I've had to learn to cook a completely different range of items, which has actually been pretty great!

Another interesting observation is that if you look at what I cook, I'm practically a vegetarian. This might be pretty shocking for those of you who know me well... Because I used to cringe at the sight of raw onions and always picked tomatoes off my sandwiches. But no longer. I might eat meat a couple times a month, if I get a chicken dish when we go out for Indian food or the rare cheeseburger-occasion at Apple Ice. But I used to eat meat every day. Often multiple times a day. In fact, most times I didn't really feel like I had eaten a meal if it didn't have some sort of meat in it.

And surprisingly, I like the change. Don't get me wrong- I still love the taste of meat, and I'm not giving it up all together, but this change in my eating habits is something I'd like to bring back with me to America when I return.

Kind of along the same lines, I've been doing some reading recently about the food industry in the US.... This book called Eating Animals is kind of haunting me.... It gives several moral arguments about the mistreatment of animals at factory farms, but what really got me turned off from eating as much meat as I used to was the fact that chickens are being genetically altered and medicated to grow faster and larger for more consumption (and therefore profit). The majority of the chickens we eat in America are drugged up mutants. Scary.

In Uganda, you might see the chicken you eat running around a few hours before the meal: free-range to the max. And I feel like this is a case of life here being more simple and somehow ahead of the US eating habits. The big trends of eating local or organic or free-range are all happening in Africa already! So funnily enough, as people in the US are moving in that direction, people in Africa are ahead of the eating-trend curve. And I think that's something I really am going to miss and hope to somehow recreate in America.... Eating more fresh produce, making things from scratched, less preservatives... It will definitely be an adjustment, but it's one I'm looking forward to making. Especially once I have an oven again!

so forgetful

Living overseas creates this strange phenomenon where at times you feel more in touch with the world (i.e. outside the bubble of America and seeing the way that the majority of people on this planet live), but at other times feel so out of touch with the world (i.e. no idea about current events or pop culture). And then other times you just forget about what your life in America used to be like... there were things I used to think about and wrestle through before I lived in Uganda that just don't often come to mind anymore.

One of those things is responsible consumerism.

I am aware of how ironic that sounds, since I work for a not-just-for-profit business that is all about social consumerism. But its different.... because I don't often have to think about how I am personally being a responsible consumer, since my purchasing habits in Uganda are so vastly different than in the US. I buy my produce from my neighbor Josephine, any clothes I get are from the second-hand market, and all the gifts I buy are from local artisans.

But yesterday I read a blog post by Heather Hendrick entitled "Hi, my name is Heather, and I'm a recovering modern-day slave owner" and it brought up all the old issues I dealt with when shopping in the US. The question: "did slaves make this?" Because there is slavery in this world. STILL. And that's what really blows my mind.

I jumped on the responsible-consumerism bandwagon a couple years ago and really put for an effort to educate myself about the brands I was buying and where my dollars were going. But that was two years ago. And believe me, I wasn't the first one to start thinking about this issue.... people have been talking about it for years and years. But living here, I forget that it is still a massive issue... and that some people are still unaware of what the companies they buy from are doing, and where their stuff is really coming from.

Yes, I've witnessed a massive improvement and so many more companies making socially conscious decisions in the past few years... but why is this still an issue? Seriously. Why isn't everyone on the responsible-consumerism bandwagon?

And I think that a lot of times it's honestly just easier not to ask the hard questions... to live in blissful ignorance... to just imagine that all the manufacturers of our products are over 18, well paid, well cared for, and working by choice. Because then you don't have to change your behavior.

Well, I'm going to have to change my behavior all over again when I move back to the US in a couple months, and honestly it's something I'm having mixed feelings about... Its almost effortless to live simply and in a socially conscious way in Uganda, but there's no challenge in that. Like I said, I actually forgot that this was something that occupied my mind on a regular basis in the US. So I think even though it will be a challenge, it will be good for me to reengage in this conversation that's still going on in the States.

TED talk to share

Every Monday night, a bunch of us ex-pats get together and a community group of sorts.... we cook dinner together and then watch a TED talk. Well, this past week was my week to pick the talk we were going to watch together, but I was ill-prepared. I had watched Malcolm Gladwell give a talk, in hopes that it would be an interesting option... but he just talked about spaghetti sauce and how it revolutionized the food industry with its many flavor options. Humorous at times, but not particularly thought provoking.... so that left me with nothing prepared for my TED talk. I decided to wing it, and ended up getting lucky with a talk from the "jaw dropping" section by Hans Rosling, called "Insights on Poverty."

I wanted to share this video, because I think it gives a really interesting view of economic development, and the rate at which things are happening in the world..... How far we've come and how far we have to go.... And how we can get there. Something interesting that this researcher points out is that he makes a distinction between the avenues by which we achieve development, and the end goals we have. For example, education and economic growth are avenues toward the end goals of human rights and a strong culture. That was a distinction I had never made before, and I think it's an important one..... because all the factors of development can become quite overwhelming at times, to the point where it can become quite discouraging.

The longer I live in Uganda, the more I realize that there is not simple answer to the issue of poverty. I often think of Richard Stearns' quote: "There's a tendency to say, 'This ain't rocket science. People are hungry; feed them.' Well, the deeper you get into relief and development, you realize it is rocket science, because you are dealing with all kinds of social, cultural, political, and religious landmines. What have you really accomplished if you haven't gotten beneath the surface and started to wrestle with the root causes?" I appreciate those words, and I hope that the insights in this video give a clearer image of just how complicated and yet hopeful economic development can be.

singles-awareness

On Friday, before the hour of 10:00am, I had already been asked twice why I was unmarried and childless.

First it was a woman I was talking with about my plans to move back to the States... she asked if I was moving back to get married. After answering "no," she proceeded to tell me that she had a daughter my age who just got married and that for her boys it was fine for them to wait, but for girls... well... and then she kind of trailed off and gave me a knowing glance.

Then I went for a business meeting with a man who worked at a government office downtown. While we were waiting for his secretary to print off some papers, he asks me if I'm married. After hearing my negative response, he says- what about children? I say that I'm waiting until I'm married to have children, and then he gives me a glance over and tells me that its best to have children while I'm still young. {Just to reemphasize, this was a professional meeting.} I'm pretty sure in the US that would qualify as sexual harassment, while in Uganda its just a conversation starter.

Now don't get me wrong, I want to get married and have children. I'm all for it. But it seems that in Uganda its all that's expected of women. And that somehow I'm not a "woman" because I'm single and childless.... And professionally, I'm not taken seriously.

There are plenty of women's issues that I could talk about that go on in Uganda.... like how its not uncommon for husbands to beat their wives, or how the girl is often the one shamed when an unwanted pregnancy occurs out of wedlock, or how a widow's property can be confiscated after her husband dies... I could go off on a tangent about any of those issues. But its the constant conversations like the ones I had on Friday that are examples of the small way that I'm personally most effected by the male dominated culture here.

It makes me thankful in a way I've never been before for the way that women are treated in the US. I know its not perfect, but we have rights and opportunities and fewer prejudices to overcome than women living in Uganda.

Even on the streets in America, I feel infinitely more respected. You might get a whistle from a passing car once in a blue moon, but most places I've traveled outside the US the catcalling is so much more abrasive. In Italy I didn't mind it so much, because "Ciao bella!" feels more like a compliment... In Spain it was "Eeehhhh guapa!" in a guttural growling sort of voice- not my favorite. But I think the common Ugandan catcall "Just my size!" takes the cake for most objectifying. Its things like this that make me grateful for things I didn't even recognize about daily life in the States. Maybe there are deeper rooted women's issues that we still need to work out in the US, but at least I can walk down the street in peace.

All that to say, even though my patience for these singles-awareness encounters often runs out, I am thankful for the opportunity to show them something different.... To be a young woman who moved to a foreign country alone, to work for a company she was passionate about. I'm not naive enough to think that I'm going to play much of a part in changing stereotypes or cultural norms in Uganda, but I do hope that more and more young women here can be taken seriously and feel valued in society.

CLA at last

I've lived in Uganda for over a year now, and until yesterday I had never visited Cornerstone Leadership Academy. This has been a significant missing piece in my Uganda experience, because CLA is the school that Sseko partners with and where most of the ladies I work with come from.

The school is about thirty minutes outside the city, and even though I've driven by the entrance sign on my way to Gulu, I'd never stepped foot on the grounds. So when our photo and video interns were heading out to the campus to get some shots of the girls, I made sure I was along for the ride.

I had the opportunity to interview a few of the girls, and it was incredible to see how hopeful they were about their futures... Most of them said that they wouldn't have been able to finish high school without the full-ride that CLA provides, which means that they never would have had a shot at attending university. But now its part of all their plans. We asked each of the girls what they wanted to be when they grew up and got quite the variety of answers. From professor, to accountant, to lawyer, to doctor... these girls have high hopes.

Then I asked a few of them how they thought they would fund their university level educations... and most were hoping for the government sponsored scholarships, which unfortunately are few and far between... Having these conversations with the girls at CLA was such a good reminder for me of why Sseko exists. It's easy to get caught up in the day to day grind, but having these beautiful, hopefully girls in front of me.... it was such a refresher.

And as happy as that experience was, I left feeling a little twinge of sadness... because I knew that I wouldn't get to work with those girls firsthand. Some of the girls I talked to yesterday will be hired to work with Sseko next year, but by then I'll be back in America... But I had to remind myself that this would always be the case.... there will always be a fresh group of bright-eyed CLA graduates recruited for Sseko each year, and that's the beauty of it. I've been blessed enough to know two generations of Sseko women, and even though I'll be watching from afar, I can't wait to see who the new faces of Sseko are! The fact that they are probably in this picture gives me serious goosebumps... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

baby whack

There is a little boy who lives in our neighborhood that Julie and I have fondly dubbed "Baby Whack." Why do we refer to him by this strange nickname, you may ask? Well, it has something to do with the fact that he is probably only one and a half years old, and he carries around a small machete. His parents have a produce stand on our street, and its common to see Baby Whack, knife in hand, sitting on the ground next to it chopping away at something, keeping himself entertained.

Can you imagine how mortified an American parent would be to see their child sitting on the side of a ditch on a dirty road playing with a rusty machete? But the funny thing is that Baby Whack has probably never cut himself with that old knife... In fact, his little hands are quite capable. Because he's probably been playing with that knife for awhile now. He's seen his parents cutting the pineapples and potatoes that they sell, and he's just imitating them.

American children do the same thing. Julie was telling me that one of her friends recently told her a story about her two year old daughter. The little girl picked up her mom's iPod and started making a small, circular motion with her thumb. While Baby Whack is learning how to chop things, this baby girl is learning how to select a song on an iPod. Amazing.

All children learn different motor skills early on, and its been so fascinating to see how the culture you grow up in dramatically effects that. I'll give another example.... One of our new summer interns, Meagan, has been living at the workshop with our two Ugandan managers, Emma and Agnes. Meagan decided that she wanted to learn how to hand-wash her clothes, since washing machines are virtually non-existent here. {side note: I tried to wash my own clothes by hand for the first three months I was here, but caved and now have a woman come once a week to wash for me... I got tired of being dirty all the time and having stained clothes} Anyway, Meagan was an eager pupil, and Agnes went out to observe the lesson.

The next week at work, Agi was telling me all about the lesson and cracking up. She said "my little sister is better at washing clothes than Meagan, and she's only 6!" She thought it was hilarious that Meagan didn't know how to do a chore that in Uganda is so common and simple. This lead to an interesting conversation with Agi.... I told her that I didn't know how to wash clothes by hand either... And bet you would have a hard time finding any American (child or adult) who knows how to wash clothes like that. Maybe they can work the washing machine, but the idea of washing by hand is pretty foreign to Americans.

So I told Agnes that we learn other skills early.... like skills with electronics. Most kids in elementary school know how to work Tivo (better than their parents in some cases!) and can pre-set the TV to make sure they catch their favorite shows. And I had learned how to type and use a computer by the time I was in late elementary school.... And I'm sure that kids these days are learning even earlier. But what about in Uganda? We've been giving the Sseko ladies typing lessons and trying to teach them basic computer skills, because most of them have never had access to computers before... So what if I flipped the situation on Anges, and while watching her type said something like "Any American kid could use a computer better than you!" First of all, I would never say that because I think its rude even though it may be true, but also I understand that we just learned different skills and were exposed to different things as children.

What started out as a funny conversation about Meagan's inability to washing clothes turned into a fascinating conversation between Agnes and I about cultural differences and experiences. The conclusion we came to was that being understanding and graceful in situations like that is always best... because you never know why someone doesn't know how to do something.... whether its an adult's inability to perform "children's" chores, or a baby's impressive skills with wielding a knife.